When Did Feeling Good Become So Much Work?
Asking for a friend.
I just got back from Madrid and Menorca, and I need to tell you something slightly annoying.
I felt amazing. And I didn't even try.
No step goal. No sleep score. No protein math. Half the time my phone was dead at the bottom of my bag, which might honestly have been the best wellness tool I packed.
My days were spent chasing moments with friends. Wandering art galleries until my feet ached. Palaces, monuments, cobblestones. Long lunches and food experiences I'll be thinking about for years. Cava on rooftop bars as the sun went down. A lot of laughing.
I walked everywhere. I ate when I was hungry. I slept when I was tired. And I slept like a rock.
Then I came home, stood in my kitchen, and thought: why does feeling this good take so much effort here?
I love this stuff. Truly.
Before anyone thinks I've gone rogue, let me be clear. I love wellness. I strength train, I think about protein, I care about my sleep. I probably do more of this than most people you know, and I'm keeping all of it.
But somewhere along the way, wellness turned into a second job. First it was calories. Then macros. Then steps, rings to close, sleep scores, and the protein spreadsheet. Every new layer promised to make us healthier, and mostly it just made us busier. And a little more anxious about whether we'd done enough to deserve a rest.
I'm wondering if the pendulum needs to swing back a bit. The healthy habits stay. The constant measuring can take a seat.
What the trip actually did for me
Here's what I figured out on the flight home. On that trip, I wasn't doing wellness. My days were doing it for me.
Walking was how I got around, so I moved for hours without logging a single workout.
I was outside in daylight most of the day, so by night I was genuinely tired.
I moved enough to be properly hungry at mealtimes, and I ate slowly, at a table, with people I love.
My brain was busy with new things: art, history, a language I don't speak, decoding a menu.
I was with real people, face to face, all day long.
My phone was dead, so nothing was pulling at me.
None of that took willpower. The trip was the infrastructure. It made the healthy choice the easy, obvious one.
I think that's what most of us are craving. We don't want to optimize every hour of our lives. We want a life built so the good stuff happens on its own.
(That list also happens to cover the four pillars we talk about in Living on Purpose: physical wellness, mental stimulation, social connection and emotional wellbeing. Funny how that works.)
"Must be nice, Christie."
I know. I was on vacation. No laundry, no dishwasher to unload, no one asking what's for dinner. Of course I felt good.
I'm not suggesting you book a flight to Spain to fix your life (although if you do, find the rooftop bars). The point is to notice what the trip took away and what it added, then steal a piece of it for an ordinary Tuesday.
Measure to learn. Then let your life carry it.
Tracking can be a great teacher. If you've never paid attention to protein, tracking it for two weeks will show you what enough actually looks like. Wear the sleep tracker for a month and learn your patterns.
Then take the training wheels off. Eat the way you learned to eat. Go to bed when you're tired. Trust that you know things now.
Measuring forever is where it turns into work.
How I'm bringing a little Madrid home
A few things I'm trying, none of which need an app:
Walk somewhere I'd normally drive. Groceries, coffee, the post office.
Get outside before noon, even for ten minutes.
Phone in another room for dinner. Dead battery energy, on purpose.
One new thing a week: a gallery, a class, a recipe I've never made.
Book time with friends like it's an appointment, because it is.
Eat when I'm hungry, and sit down to do it.
Small, a little boring, and that's the point. Build the days, and the days do the work.
So, when did feeling good become so much work?
I don't have a perfect answer. But I know I felt better chasing moments with friends than I have in months of chasing numbers.
That's what we're building in Living on Purpose: getting more life out of the years we've got, without turning it into homework. Come join us.
Christie Chapman is a certified menopause coach and yoga instructor helping women navigate perimenopause and menopause with nervous system regulation, real food, and community - not another protocol to white-knuckle through.